Logically, it made sense to agree to the C-section. My doctor was not going to let me leave without delivering with my elevated blood pressure. And it didn't seem that any amount of pitocin was really going to get a "natural" delivery going.
To be honest, I was (and still am) disappointed that this was what I had to agree to. I feel a bit cheated. Like I missed out on the experience that I had been preparing for during the previous 8 months. Like I missed out on this experience that so many of my woman friends and family members got to experience. Now, most ladies I know that went through a natural, vaginal birth would probably laugh at this and tell me I was crazy. I know that childbirth is pretty horrific ... but it was still something I had been anticipating experiencing. And so, because I am trying to be honest here, I do feel a bit like I was cheated.
But, this was what we had to do for me and for Baby Wynne, so Ryan and I went into it with a positive attitude (as we try to do with everything!).
We waited around a bit for the anesthesiologist, got suited up, and headed to the operating room.
I went off to the operating room first and the nurses prepared me for surgery. This included a bit of shaving (NOTE: ladies, if you have a planned c-section, I urge you to do your own shaving at home or splurge on a waxing before you head to the hospital!), drinking some weird stuff that was supposed to neutralize my stomach acid and then getting ready for a spinal epidural.
The epidural was the scariest part for me. Even before we got to the hospital, I was nervous about an epidural (during vaginal birth or a c-section). Everyone told me I would want one and that they make you feel great .. but the thought of a needle inserted into my spinal column scares the hell out of me. Did you catch that?? A NEEDLE near my SPINE!
Also, remember, I wasn't in pain. My "contractions" felt like minor menstrual cramps, so I wasn't desperate for some pain relief, like many laboring mothers are. Another reason that I was freaked out ... by a needle ... near my spine!
Yes, I realized that the anesthesiologist does this all the time. It is routine. It is no big deal. It still scares me!!! It was at this point that I started freaking out. For the previous 30 hours, I barely shed a tear and was logical about everything. But for the 10 minutes before the epidural and while it was happening, I was a wreck. My doctor even commented on it and did her best to distract me! She kept asking what the baby's name would be.
The epidural wasn't so bad, though I had trouble breathing, which I think was more of me having a panic attack and not really a side effect of the drugs. Within seconds, I was tingling and within a minute I could feel the drugs traveling through my body and making me numb. They got me set-up on the table and then went to find Ryan!
During these few minutes, Ryan was waiting and came upon my favorite Christmas movie on TV: It's a Wonderful Life! Surely, there could not be a more appropriate movie to be on during the birth of our child! It truly is a wonderful life!! :)
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| "I'm gonna need a great big one!" |
"It's Eli!"
He cried, I cried, Ryan cried ... and then Eli peed all over! :)
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| Eli Hudson Wynne December 24th, 2012, 8:28pm 7lbs 1oz, 19" |
3 comments:
Well, maybe you missed out on the natural birth experience, but that also means that you missed out on pooping in front of other people! Plus, you got to see Ryan in that snazzy outfit...
Slightly inappropriate content: woohoo for remaining high and tight! I totally get your disappointment with not delivering vaginally, but there is always next time. VBACs are more and more routine now.
Thanks for the encouragement girls! There are definitely bonuses with a c-section birth! :)
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